______ _ _ ______ _____ ______ /\___/\ / __ \ | `. | | / __ \ | __ \ / __ \ /\___/\ ) ( | |__| | | `. | | |__| | | | \ | | |__| | ) ( =\ /= | __ | | |`. | | __ | | | | | | __ | =\ /= ) ( | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | ) ( / \ www.|_| |_| | | | | |_| |_| | | | | |_| |_|.net / \ ) ( ______ | | | | ______ | |__/ | ______ ) ( / \ |______| |_| |_| |______| |_____/ |______| / \ \ / e z i n e \ / \__ __/ __________________________________________________________ \__ __/ )) (( // “UNDER A RANDOM SKY” \\ (( 01/02/04 anada527 )) \) (/ >(o.o)< `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`, >(o.o)< Aloha. It has been many moons since I last declared that Anada was back in business and off and flowing. That it still is, whether or not one believes it to be true. In this era of Windows XP, it becomes increasingly difficult to produce the text-file medium in its prerequisite columns and monospacing, so forgive the time lapse. I have many more excuses if you didn’t like that one. --gloomchen >(o.o)< `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`, >(o.o)< TABLE OF CONTENTS “The Affectionately Irritable Ed” by E.J. ...........................line 45 “Hate Class 101...” by Mr. Walking Abortion .........................line 84 “Follow The Leader” by Advanced Being ..............................line 132 “Schoolboy’s Dossier” by Schoolboy .................................line 277 “Black Ewe” by Anupama Bhargava ....................................line 611 “Fuck a Scene” by Gir ..............................................line 630 “What Shel Silverstein Would’ve Written...” by Effy ................line 788 >(o.o)< `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`, >(o.o)< “The Affectionately Irritable Ed” By E.J. A man goes to a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. The bartender laughs out loud as a couple stagger to and fro against a pivoting barstool to keep their balance. A lovable tune plays remotely from a remote jukebox. The man, drink in hand, glances sideways at the couple as they fall over laughing. The bartender laughs again. A sudden barrage of cigarette sticks appear magically in people’s hands, as if any sudden display of weirdness requires reflection from the cool. The man lights his own stick and exhales cautiously across the bar. It is the evening on a Friday, and the Earth has changed its position in its orbit around the sun only slightly since the man finished work for the week. He enjoys his work, and was planning on bringing over his laptop to enjoy some of his weekend work over a couple of drinks, but decides against it as it might look out of sorts at this type of bar. On the TV in the corner of the bar a documentary of mating animals is shown. Some customers complain incessantly, due to an Orioles game that night on ESPN, but the bartender refuses to give in. There is a harsh buzzing verbal swarm around the men as they discuss how things should be. This is a good day for the Orioles, against the A’s, they say, if only the stupid bartender would change the channel for a few seconds to ESPN. And Consensual Sex is walking around this bar scene like a stilts-man in tights. No obvious luck for any, except the strong and "provocative" statement of a man with a laptop, which leads a mystery and precaution against the glances of possibly interested women. A woman glances at him, he notices, but he is unable to draw any conclusions or insight into her motives. Interest is fine, but ducks sitting in a pond can be interesting. Chaos can be interesting, he laments. >(o.o)< `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`, >(o.o)< “Hate Class 101: A List Of People Who Should Be Gunned Down” By Mr. Walking Abortion People who think their children are special. People who try to be loved. Let it happen naturally or fuck off. People who deny the freedoms of others. If a songwriter works all his/her life in a shit job he hates he should be allowed to write what he/she wants. Politically correct people. People who are afraid of the man. Capitalist pig scum fucks. People who like being ignorant. People who know the scores of every major leaguer in Wisconsin but don’t know who the President is. People who love themselves. People who fuck themselves. Strong people who hate weak people. Beautiful people who hate ugly people. Racists Sexists or anyone else who hates people purely on type. People who don’t care about what its about. Republicrats. People who believe themselves to be way out there when in fact they are in here. The man of tradition holding back the man of progress. Outdated institutions that have no relevance to civilised human beings in the here and now. The heir to the throne of shit. The Messiah who saves only himself, and it would be a man because a woman wouldn’t act like that. Men who think that women are a piece of meat with a scrubbing brush. Fuck you guys, they are worth more than that. "I know I believe in nothing - but it is my nothing" - Richey Edwards "Punk Rock should mean freedom, liking and playing anything that you like, playing whatever you want, as sloppy as you want, as long as its good and it has passion." - Kurt Cobain "We're not supposed to give birth, we're not supposed to age or die, we're supposed to be in a garden right now naming animals, and the fact you don’t know all of the animals tells me that we left the garden too soon." - Bill Hicks "I’d rather be dead than cool" - Kurt Cobain >(o.o)< `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`, >(o.o)< “Following The Leader” By AdvancedBeing Following the leader, the leader, the leader.... Following the leader, the leader, the leader.... Into a place where we all shall make merry, a glen over river and deep in the woods. Strangely enough, 'twas no charge for our ferry, the colorless boatman demanding no goods. Our leader, he leads us with many a smile, laughing his way far ahead of the crowd, and we, we good followers, dancing behind him, singing our songs of contentment aloud. Promises made us were rich with bright color, each of us told that our dreams lay before. And most of us lived lives that could be no duller until our leader told us what was in store. Plenty, he said to us. Freedom from need. An answer to all of our mightiest prayers. And surely 'twould not be the height of all greed were we to discover an end to all cares. Now, dancing behind him, we spare not our feet as we rapidly near this fabled paradise. We hear his faint laughter compelling us on beseeching us toward the sound of his cries. And here I falter; here I stop for the nonce, catching my breath for a moment. My companions' vigor is in no way dulled, maniacally keeping their foment. They proceed without me; I promise them soon I'll be joining them once I have finished my rest, and ask them for but a brief respite from mirth, and, laughing, they acquiesce to my behest. And here I have found myself, sitting alone, soon to be joining my comrades-in- arms as they gather around a magnificent throne to toast and make pledge to a Prince of all charms. Our leader, he waits for them, calling them forth, his voice an ethereal dream in the air, still making his promises, telling them soon they'll be free from all want and have no need of care. And so on they go, and soon they will know what our leader, ahead of us, soon will bestow. Yet once they have left me, my heart feels less light, as though it were suddenly cast into night, and I give a slight shiver, still smiling despite the feeling that something is now less than right. I still hear the mirth of my friends far ahead, and it seems to give pause to me and clear my head, for of course nothing's wrong; there's nothing to dread. We were led here, by God. We're not lost. We were led. I feel strength return to my limbs, and I rise. I squint ahead, but they're too far for my eyes. I wish I'd gone with them; it seems less than wise to remain alone in a forest this size. But still I can hear them, and there is my peace. If only my hammering heartbeat would cease. Again I set out, alone but for my fear, and vainly attempt to make sense of the night. Although I can't see them, the laughter I hear -- it should serve to guide me and keep my course right. Indeed, their bright laughter has reached such a pitch, such feverish howlings without precedent, that scarce have I set out to find them before I'm positive of the direction they went. As I push on, I think back to the time that our leader first made himself known unto us. We sat, drunk in our regrets, frosted with rime, our souls all but dead and quite riddled with rust. Come forth, o ye worthies, cried a voice from the ether. Come forth and ye follow this humble satyr, and care not for woes and tribulations left here. O follow, and reap thy prize sooner, than later. Most of us faltered; though some of us cried, Who art thou to promise us such carefree bliss? Too late have you come for us; many have died in their sorrow; never to have known Fate's sweet kiss. But ye remain, friends, came the ghostly reply. Cast now your lots to the winds; follow and see! For whence I shall lead you, no man has returned. Always they remain; finally are they free. So it was that we found ourselves dancing along, prancing and leaping in anticipation of wonders untold, led on by the pipe of our leader, who promised us such celebration. A while have I been in pursuit of my friends, though no sign of them can be had through these trees. I stop again, and listen to the sound of their high cries, their zealously wild shouts of glee. And such is their shouting! Our leader was true. For plain is the happiness heard by my ears, and seldom before have I heard such a sound. Yet here, again, shivers me with untold fear. What is this I hear? Is this truly festivity? One might, at first, think so; such laughter doth rush! Yet, over their cries, I hear what might be...pain? Cautiously, forward I make through the brush. And when I at last behold my friends once more, no words can describe a scene of such dark horror. For there they all are, seated 'round a huge table, laughing and drinking as much as they're able, swelling and growing to such obese proportions that my innards do clench at their sudden distortions. And once they have eaten and grown to their full, one by one they do give in to an unseen pull, one by one do their faces grow slack as they stand, one by one are they ruled by an invisible hand. To the head of the table do they make their way, to the leader, who sits there; but how he has changed! A demon, a horror, presides this black feast -- the look in his black eyes is now quite deranged -- -- as one by one takes he my friends by the head, and swallows them whole, to my horror and dread, and, blood running freely from his lips, is fed and sickeningly, paints his face in their red -- Now, sensing my presence, he turns him to me, and the look on his face is one of ecstasy, and extends his clawed hand, and beckons greedily, And all of mine friends, too, turn so they can see. And here is my narrative drawn to a close. From here, what occurs is for others to see. For all who may read this, my friends and my foes, you have been here witness to the end of me. >(o.o)< `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`, >(o.o)< “Schoolboy’s Dossier” By Schoolboy [ed note: originally submitted prior to Hussein’s capture] Right. This is one you'll either deride as the rantings of a left wing commy bastard or you'll be intrigued but skeptical or you'll throw your plates against the wall in anger. I have huge issues with Mr president George W Bush and his administration. I know I'm not the only one. But the main point *is* I'm not the only one. Now I'm British and I'm quite confident that if there was a British prime minister as controversial as Bush there would be a tiny chance, a chance so small it would be dwarfed by the likelihood of Nancy Sinatra having a sex change and touring as her father, that an American would bother to even mention it in his blog, let alone hundreds of Americans setting up websites and so on. However, that is understandable. After all, Britain is no super-power. Britain is to the US what the Beatles are to American Idol. Once world beating and still respected but now decimated by time and fashion compared to modern, fashionable and manufactured. We're talking here purely on political levels here. Culturally, I have enormous (though not unconditional) regard for America. And Britain, on many levels other than political, are very heavy hitters, too. Britain is far from flawless as well, of course. Politically, however, due to the weight of the whole American administration being rested on one man, America very much swings from being made in the image of one president to another. This generally doesn't matter when the ideological pendulum swings as little as it did over the last 15 or 20 years. But with the coming to power (I really think ”election” does not necessarily reflect the course of history accurately) of George W, the American politic has made a sharp surge to the right. Further right than I think many people who voted for him understand. I am not going to go for cheap shots like his intelligence (he is, in fact, the first president to have a degree) and his ”Bushlexia”. The American people have every right to expect their president to be bright. Brighter than most of them. Whether this is the case is open to question. Bush is the first president in 111 years to be elected after losing the popular vote. He's certainly the first to be granted power by a court. A court that was dominated by judges his father appointed(!!!!!) Every company he ever ran lost money. One company he was director of was owned by the Carlyle group. This group placed him on the board and invited him to leave when it became clear he was as useful as a Bible in a brothel. This self same group (which is private and therefore as opaque to the public as it likes) is the eleventh largest arms supplier in America and the employer of George Bush senior. It goes on... The Carlyle group was founded by a roommate of Don Rumsfeld and a former cabinet member of George senior. Do you think Carlyle benefits financially from this ”war on terror”? You betcha. So therefore, so does Bush's dad! A bit of history. Ronald Reagan had a ”war on terror” (Reagan's word) to excuse the US intervention in South America. He wanted to ensure the continent was as right wing as humanly possible. So he blew up some Guatemalan communists as a serious threat to the US. That was forgotten about in the mists of time. Dick Cheney was Defense Secretary at the time. A bit more history. Nazi Germany was the only European country up to WWII to see American investment *increase*. This was largely facilitated by the banking services of one Prescott Bush, Dubya's Grandfather. Prescott continued brokering investment (and making a fortune) in Nazi Germany right up until it was made illegal in 1942. The war we Brits were fighting started in 1939! The Nazis had started murdering the Jews in 1936. The Bush family's first chunk of real wealth came from this hateful activity (largely because Prescott sold the company once he was allowed to after the war). Prescott and his business associate (someone called Thyssen) were supplying at least half of Germany's raw materials needs (for military expansion) by 1940. No one ever asks Bush I or Bush II about this recorded history. But back in the present... Ah, you see you can't view the present without looking at the past. Look at Ronald Reagan's cabinet in the early 80s. Now look at Dubya's. The similarities are frightening. Especially when all that's left are ”the crazies”. I saw a former CIA advisor to President Bush 1st say on camera that the hawkish crew at the top of the tree now were referred to by Bush and his other cabinet members as ”the crazies” in the late 80s/early 90s. Now they are up there by themselves, completely running the Defense Department. Look who the George Bush Award 2003 has gone to. Senator Edward Kennedy, the most anti-war president this term. This award is George Bush's own choice. What do you think that tells you about what Dubya's dad thinks of this mess? Ted Kennedy has called this war fraudulent! He has ripped into the Bush administration with the most uncompromising language in some time. And Dubya's dad rewards him! This is such a huge issue. The media is involved in this, the stunningly blatant lies the Bush regime has spouted and continues to repeat is something to behold. The facts about the world are this: * Iraq was not involved in any way in 9/11. * No WMDs have so far been found in Iraq. Nothing. * Only one small vial of biological agent was found in a scientist's fridge at home. It hadn't been touched for years. * There is no evidence publically available showing who the hijackers in 9/11 were. Have you seen it? * The FBI's last public statement on the hijackers was that there was no evidence of who they were or which planes they were in. * The Congressional report still names the same people as the hijackers, despite 7 being found to be alive (or died after 9/11). * There must be video evidence showing these hijackers. CCTV is all over airports. Why haven't we seen this footage? Of every single hijacker? If they're dead, what's the problem with that? * The Taliban have not been defeated. They are resurgent as I write and are running some southern Afghan towns. * The military dictator, Musharraf of Pakistan, has been called an ally by Bush on more than one occasion. Is this good for democracy? * The only known nuclear power in the middle east is *not* Iraq. It's Israel! * Israel is the only nuclear power never to have signed the International Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. * 15 of the 18/19 hijackers on 9/11 were supposedly Saudi Arabian. Bin Laden is Saudi Arabian. He is funded largely *by* Saudi Arabians. Who do we have wars with? Iraq and Afghanistan! * 70 percent of Americans thought Saddam had something to do with (even planned) 9/11. Who gave them this message? This falsity. * Around the world 10 million people marched in protest at the Iraq war *before it started*. * Neither Saddam nor Bin Laden have been caught yet. * The number of deaths by terrorism has more than doubled in the last twelve months. This guy, Saddam Hussein was a nasty guy. Sure. He was anti-democratic. Sure. He had a bad human rights reputation. Sure. BUT THE SAME CAN BE SAID OF EVERY MIDDLE EASTERN COUNTRY INCLUDING ISRAEL. They all have shocking human rights records and they all oppress their people (in Israel's case, they oppress a people they do not regard as their own). An interesting point that may point the way to quite how premeditated a lot of the Bush regime's actions have been and how unconnected their ideas really are to 9/11 is that the PATRIOT Act was fully written and passed by Congress just two weeks after 9/11. If you've ever read a legislative act of congress dealing with such complicated legal issues you'll know that it could not be possible to write one up in two weeks. This had to have been prepared earlier. Another premeditation point is the Project for the New American Century (PNAC). It's scary shit, believe me. It was a think tank set up by Rumsfeld, Cheney, Jeb Bush, Richard Perle and others to present their vision for the world. A world designed by America alone (Pax Americana). They wrote a letter to Clinton in 1998 requesting he invade Iraq with or without the UN's say so. Need I say more? Aside from all that, you have the events on 9/11 and how the Bush regime have changed their story constantly. They have also deliberately censored the congressional report into it, after being as little help as possible, by the way, claiming security issues. How convenient that these censored bits concerned what Bush was told in briefings before 9/11 and the entire section on Saudi funding of Al Qaeda. Despite the chairmen of the committee who wrote the report and the Saudi (absolute monarchy) demanding the publication (the committee claiming there were not security risks at all), nothing happened. Onwards to the US being a beacon of liberty and so on. Guantanamo Bay is internationally a scandal. In America, it is barely reported on. The camp at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba houses 600 people picked up from all over the world (not necessarily those who were in Afghanistan and not necessarily actually fighting) and thrown into this camp. They have been there for two years. And despite the Geneva Convention requiring an independent tribunal to establish their prisoner status, they have had no trial, no access to lawyers and no access to the Geneva Convention text (itself a rule of the convention). There were some children (under 16) held for 18 months! They've only just been released. But there are still 600 people there held without trial or a prospect of a trial. Neither their guilt nor their status has been established and the Red Cross has very limited access. Does this sound like true civilised justice? No, it doesn't to me, either. Does this sound like something an Iraq or an Iran would do? This is the problem. This is not just happening to “foreigners”. Two American citizens are fighting to be tried in a court of law. The US government is appealing to stop this and to try them in a military court (even though terrorism is not a military act but a criminal offence) because the evidential requirements are not so high. Sheesh. So the US government is actively pursuing denying the human rights and the constitutional rights of two of its own unconvicted citizens. The moral high-ground Bush is trying to occupy in this offensively simplistic “Good vs Evil” war is almost nonexistent. On another note, as an example of hypocrisy problems. In a war we know that civilians get killed. This is bad, of course. I'm sure you would agree that we don't want to be killing civilians in war. But I think you would also agree that it would be desirable for us to know how many civilians our war kills, wouldn't you? In order that we know our government is really trying not to kill them. Right? Well the US government from Gulf War 1 onwards has not collected civilian casualty figures in any war. If you look at the (desperately few) questions asked about this of US representatives in press conferences you'll find they say they don't know. Colin Powell during the first Gulf War said, “That's not a figure I'm particularly interested in”. Got that, they don't care! I really wish I was making this shit up. But it's all true. Every last word. You can check it out with a few minutes on Google. Seriously. This stuff is out there. And *not* on loony campaigning sites with agendas. Knowledge is power but the Bush administration seems to believe (for its citizens) that Ignorance is Strength. A “1984” slogan of The Party. Remember how many current cabinet members were also high up in Reagan's government? Even Colin Powell was at the Pentagon (and was reportedly mixed up in some way with the Iran Contra scandal). Well, surprise surprise, Bush has decided to block (in an executive order) the Act passed in the 70s to force the release of all presidential papers, from Reagan onwards, after 12 years had passed from the president leaving office. The effect of Bush's little slight of hand is that merely 6,000 papers from 80,000 in the Reagan archive have been released. In this case, Bush has stood in the way of legislation set up by congress. This is anti-constitutional as the President is supposed to uphold the law, not make it or amend it. Check it out. But as his cabinet contains Don Rumsfeld (who visited Saddam in the 80s to sell him arms), Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, General Poindextor (of Iran/Contra infamy), Douglas Feith, Richard Perle (not now cabinet but is a member of the defense advisory board) and Paul Wolfowitz (also a PNAC founder) we can't expect Bush to play ball, can we? There is still more that makes me have a huge problem with the Bush regime but there are people currently writing books explaining all of this. I'd advise you check out the more intelligent critics of his policies, like Noam Chomsky, Paul Krugman and the like. They are as reliant as possible on facts. I don't ask you to follow their own policies or their politics but at least take on board the facts they bring to you. On the truth. All the above is true. Do you feel you have learned anything? If you have, then it shows how bad a job the media have done in informing you. All I ask is that you look at what you are being told and ensure you establish that it is the truth. Don't assume anything in this world any more. As some homework, try to see if you can find any evidence which supports the story that 18 Arab men hijacked the four planes on 9/11 and look for any proof provided to us that *all* the names for all these men are correct. They traveled under false names, apparently. They therefore used fake passports. So have a look. See for yourself that if you take all 18 names as gospel (announced just a day or two after 9/11) you are relying entirely on the word of the government when you believe them. This government has been shown to lie about things (the EPA report on the ground zero air quality - vetted by Bush – is a typical example) and so their word is tainted at best. Ask yourself, if they traveled under false names (stolen identities), used false passports and they have no paper trail whatsoever (remember, the FBI said this) connecting these named individuals to any of the flights then HOW DO THEY KNOW WHO THE HIJACKERS WERE AND HOW DID THEY PUT THEM ON SPECIFIC PLANES??? Just some homework. If you can let me know through Anada, I'd appreciate the feedback. I only want to understand the verifiable truth to this issue. I so far have no *verifiable* information I can use to happily name the 18 individual hijackers. So, I'll leave you with my best wishes and the hope that we can ensure Bush is not re-elected. Before he can do any damage beyond the thousands of civilian lives already lost (three times that of 9/11) and the record deficit your children will still be paying off. America is a great country but it is currently saddled with the wrong president. >(o.o)< `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`, >(o.o)< “Black Ewe” By Anupama Bhargava Salty tears dripped unchecked under the blue dusk, Her silence paralleled the unmoving silence of the late hours, When the billowing darkness, as if her sentinel, clung ecstatically to her remnant frame. Night and she blended fine, It was her awareness of the first time. Negro. >(o.o)< `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`, >(o.o)< “Fuck A Scene” By gir It just so happens that out of some close friends, I am not the only one who is getting sick of scenes and all they are. A friend of mine who is somewhat of a fixture in the RVA skating scene decided tonight that he was through with the scene, that it didn't make sense (or seem very fun for that matter) to have to keep up on all the tired arguments that everyone else was having in the scene and it's good he feels this way. A lot of the times when people are looking for a way to meet new people with similar interests they find their local (or internet) "scene" to fit in with and go along with it. Sometimes these scenes can be really cool and introduce you to lots of cool people but when it comes down to it, don't let being part of the scene prevent you from doing what it is you do to be part of the scene. If you skateboard, don't let skate spot politics get in your way. If you hack, don't let IRC and cons stop you from learning. If you make listen to a type of music, don't let going to shows and flexing your genre muscle stop you from finding really cool music. The scenes we find ourselves in so often could be really cool but formed out of the rejected and unappreciated, it becomes nothing more than a BULLSHIT social circle that's just as bad as any given other. How many times do you find your friends (who belong to different "scenes" than you) bitching about scene politics? In high school, there was this girl I knew off and on who made it her goal in life to piss on the very scene she belonged to. In fact, it seemed like she was trying to make a new scene of hating all the "scenesters." A generic case of "ummm I ran out of creative ideas so I'm going to piss on everything my scene stands for thus rendering myself more bonus points!!!" A lot of scenes are built on that sort of social structure though, tear everyone else down so you can climb on top of the remains and rule the scene kingdom. But after all of that, what kind of kingdom is left for you to rule? You've waged a war and damaged all the neat things about your scene that made it interested and got you into it in the first place. If you ask me that's pretty fucked up. It's not that the scenes in existence as of this moment suck, or that all of the people in them suck, it's the attitude! FUCK ATTITUDE! FUCK IT WITH RUSTY ALREADY FUCKED ICKY AND OOGLY NAILS! scene != attitude A scene should be about the music, the event, the process, and the people it is built around and upon. Just because the people have attitudes doesn't mean the scene needs it too. In fact, a goal of every scene should be to drowned out all of the attitude brought into the scene with a really enriched love for that which the scene is built around/upon. The once all that's done, you can continue to meet new people who dig the same things as you and maybe even make a couple of lasting friendships or some such hippy shit in the land of magic and scenes that lack attitudes. >(o.o)< `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`, >(o.o)< "What Shel Silverstein Would've Written About Poop Were He a Fecalphiliac but Still Bland Enough for Parents to Read to Their Children" by Effy In relation to constipation: Well, there's one thing to me that's true-- And that's that I like to poo. And if suddenly, I were unable to poo-- Well, I simply don't know what I would do. I might go crazy, become desperate and distraught; Perhaps I'd repeatedly squat, or perhaps not. The only effect squatting will have wrought, Would make my bowels taught, or tie them in a knot. And oh, without the blissful release of poop, Would my poor, laden ass begin to droop? Would I have to resort to only eating soup; After my colon is pumped daily for goop? And tell me now, what would become of my ass? Without the poop, would there still be gas? To announce itself, would the gas need the mass? Would it still rumble loudly as it came to pass? Seems I'd no longer be able to smile-- If I couldn't create my own private pile-- Seems life would no longer be worthwhile If I hadn't a toilet I were able to defile. /|/| ( @ @) ) ^ / ||| (c) 2004 Anada E'zine www.anada.net * Anada is cat-friendly. / )|||____________________________________________________________________ (__________________________________________________________________________)