,            ____,         (                     15/12/01  anada488  ,
   / \  ,_____  (--|_\_,,_, _  _| _    __________ ,-.______ _,---._ __ _/ \
  /   \+------    _|  ) | |(_|(_|(_|_  .net------/  )----.-'       `./-/   \
 /    /          (        |__,                  (  (   ,'            `/    /|
 \   /                                           \  `-"             \'\   / |
  \ /       "Do I Look Like I Want To Die?"       `.              ,  \ \ /  |
   Y--------                             ----------/`.          ,'-`----Y   |
  /                   by Michelle                 (            ; mEoW!@/|   '
 i________________________________________________|  ,-.    ,-'_______/ |  /
   |                                              |  | (   *            | /
   |____________________ Anada is cat-friendly! __)  |__\  `.___________|/
                                                  `--'   `--'

        Lets begin, with things on my computer....

 "If you don't like it, do it yourself."

 "Je se voudrais
 si je le pouvais
 would like it if I could...
 if I could do it..."

 "Yasahii"

 "Chiisagu"

 "A man who has lost his romance is like a devil."

 "In reality, the mind is very, very fragile.  There are cracks in
        everybody's minds."

 "Why? Why not?"

 "Trying to be a person, But they all say I'm worthless."

        There.  Right there.  Of all the stuff I've written, drew, and glued
 to my computer, that's the quote that my roommate happens to see.  Which
 boggles my mind, considering I'm rather territorial about people handling
 and or breathing on my stuff.

        But back to the point, I come home, light up a candle and turn on
 some Ryan Downe (mmm... bargin bin music) and got ready to bask before the
 computer screen until dawn.  But lo and behold, one of the three roommates I
 live with comes in and sits down on my bed.

    Erika: "So... how are you doing, Michelle?"

 Michelle: "Uh... ::puzzled:: fine I suppose."

    Erika: "Oh, that's good.  Say, there was something written on your
           computer that really got me concerned."

 Michelle: ::trying to think if she had written 'I hate all of you fully.' on
           the computer yet:: "Really?"

    Erika: "Yea, it was this one right here ::reads off the quote::

 Michelle: "Well, that one's from a White Zombie cd" ::knowing full well she
           wouldn't know White Zombie unless Mtv actually went back to
           constantly playing some decent music::

    Erika: "Oh, well that's good... I thought you were going to kill yourself
           or something."

        I'll stop right there.  First off, why in the bleedin' hell would I
 want to kill myself?  Where the heck did she pull that one from?  Yes, I can
 generally be a grumpy person, like when namesay one needs to awake at six in
 the morning to prepare for work (yay, workin at a petstore... abundance of
 poop here I come!) and you're blasting your rap music until the bass rattles
 the windows at one in the morning.  Yep... just can't wait for someone to
 call the cops for disturbing the peace and we all get kicked out.

        Second, I'm sure as heck not going out that way.  My dad took that
 route because he was a coward.  A guy in high school took that route because
 everyone there were assholes (not to mention, which I pray to anything
 listening, I might of been the final straw because he asked a girl out and
 she said no -- everyone thought it was me... I can't even remember last
 week, let alone high school.  So again, please let that not be true, I
 hardly knew the guy.  Great to find out though, huh?).  Honestly I want to
 get old and annoy grandchildren before I die.  They'll have to release me
 into a field and send my children out to hunt mom down before she tries to
 maul one of us.

        Third, she finishes with, "Well, if you ever want to talk about it,
 I'll be here."  Like hell I would.  I've advoided shrinks for a long while,
 I don't need you when I have internal conversations with myself.  Besides,
 you've already proven yourself untrustworthy by rooting around in my
 business.  So nyah, I'm going to write even worse stuff on the computer now.

 /\___/\ ____________________________________________________________ /\___/\
 \ -.- /                                                              \ -.- /
 `-.^.-' (c) 2001 Anada e'zine                            by Michelle `-.^.-'
   /"\ ________________________________________________________________ /"\