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  \ /                   "God"                     `.              ,  \ \ /  |
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  /                   by Flack                    (            ; mEoW!@/|   '
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                                                  `--'   `--'

 One time my friend
 Scott
 said I should learn more about God.

 So one day I asked him about attending church with him
 and he told me if I wanted to ride with him
 I needed to come up with some
 gas money.
 Scott and I went out drinking one Saturday night.
 He went to church the following Sunday.
 I didn't.
 He asked for forgiveness.
 I didn't.
 He told me that I should ask for forgiveness.
 He asked me if I understood.
 I didn't.
 He drank more beer than I did.
 But God doesn't care about that apparently.
 
 One time my friend
 Kirk
 said I should learn more about God.
 
 So one day he invited me up to his music studio
 where he only records
 Christian bands.
 That day there was a band in the studio
 who wasn't
 Christian.
 Kirk explained to me that the
 rent
 was due. He asked me if I understood.
 I didn't.
 Later Kirk asked me for a copy of some software.
 I asked him if he knew that was illegal.
 He did.
 I made him a copy
 and delivered it to him
 on Sunday.
 But God doesn't care about that apparently.
 Because he needed it
 and the rent was due.
 
 One time my friend
 Tommy
 said I should learn more about God.
 
 Tommy said we should get together sometime and
 do something.
 So I called him once and he
 didn't return my call.
 Then I called him a week later and he
 didn't return my call.
 Then I waited a month and called him. He
 didn't return my call.
 Then one day the phone rang
 and it was Tommy
 and his computer was broken
 and wanted to know if I would fix it for him
 on Sunday
 while he was in church.
 I did.
 When he picked up his computer
 he said we should go out and eat the next day
 so I called him the next day
 and Tommy
 didn't return my call.
 I wanted to pretend like I didn't understand but
 I did.
 
 One time my friend
 Corey
 said I should learn more about God.
 
 So he invited me to his church
 and I was going to go
 but my grandmother got sick
 so I went to see her instead.
 When I got to her house she was hungry
 so I took her out for lunch.
 When I got there, I saw Corey and his friends
 making a mess.
 They left trash everywhere
 and were being
 rude
 to all the employees.
 They didn't leave a
 tip
 on their table.
 I left a couple of dollars for them.
 On the way out I watched them let the door go
 and hit a woman in a wheelchair.
 I opened the door for the woman
 and held it open for my grandmother as well.
 
 In the parking lot
 Corey
 scolded me for missing
 church
 and told me I should try and be a better Christian.
 
 I punched him in the mouth
 and told him it was from
 God.
 He told me I wasn't welcome at his church anymore.
 I told him that he was supposed to forgive me
 and if he was ready to turn the other cheek
 I had another message from God for him.
 He told me to fuck myself.
 
 Some day when I'm
 dead
 and I'm standing in front of
 God
 and he asks me if I went to 
 Church
 I'll have to say 
 no.
 And if he asks
 I'll tell him
 I used to hold the doors for old people at restaurants
 and I'll tell him
 I went out of my way to talk to people in wheelchairs
 and I'll tell him
 about all the charity computer work I did for people
 and I'll tell him
 That I lived a good life and was a good person
 and I'll tell him
 that I never stepped into a church and asked forgiveness -
 instead
 I lived my life the best I knew how
 and I think
 he'll understand
 because I think that's what 
 God cares about.

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 `-.^.-' (c) 2001 Anada e'zine                               by Flack `-.^.-'
   /"\ ________________________________________________________________ /"\