, ____, ( 21/07/01 anada399 , / \ ,_____ (--|_\_,,_, _ _| _ __________ ,-.______ _,---._ __ _/ \ / \+------ _| ) | |(_|(_|(_|_ .net------/ )----.-' `./-/ \ / / ( |__, ( ( ,' `/ /| \ / \ `-" \'\ / | \ / "How I Got My Twin Hooks" `. , \ \ / | Y-------- ----------/`. ,'-`----Y | / by Carole ( ; mEoW!@/| ' i________________________________________________| ,-. ,-'_______/ | / | | | ( * | / |____________________ Anada is cat-friendly! __) |__\ `.___________|/ `--' `--' EDITOR'S NOTE: The text within is a little more offbeat than our most offbeat files. I took the time to speak with its author, and yes, it was written in earnest. It's a fictional account of Carole's plans for the future. And although it may be fiction right now, by all means she plans to make it non-fiction. Her webpage mysteriously disappeared this month, by the way. --gloomchen [*****] I just recently celebrated my 22nd birthday, my marriage, and my graduation from college, although those three celebrations were really just a few months after my actual birthday, my actual marriage, and my actual college graduation. Much more important than those three events is my ongoing celebration of my new life -- my new life as a young woman who's not only extremely myopic but who's also a real DBE amputee. I was born quite myopic (nearsighted). My myopia has steadily increased over the past twenty-two years. Now I'm extremely myopic, and I wear beautiful glasses with thick plastic lenses in order to function as well as "normal" people can function with their two "normal" eyes. However, I wasn't born a DBE (double below elbow) amputee. I purposely chose to suffer a tragic "accident" and become a real DBE amputee! Now I'm completely without any hands, and I wear beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks in order to function as well as "normal" people function with their two "normal" hands. I'm going to tell the true story of how I got my twin hooks. I'm going to explain how my life has changed during the past four months since I've become a real DBE amputee. I'm also going to describe how I've adapted to my new life using twin stainless steel hooks in place of my two amputated hands. I was born to a very loving mother and father, and I'm their only child. When I was three years old, I met a man who had completely amputated all four of the fingers on his right hand as the result of an accident he had while using a power saw. I was fascinated with how unique his hand looked and how he was able to use it with just a thumb and no other fingers. When I was eight years old, I met a girl my age who was a congenital RAE (right above elbow) amputee and who wore a very beautiful body-powered prosthesis with a Dorrance #5X stainless steel hook. We quickly became really good friends, and before long, I seriously wanted not to be just a real single-arm amputee like her, but I very seriously wanted to be a real double-arm amputee! Being only a young girl at that time, I actually thought that I must have been "abnormal" or suffering from some kind of mental illness because I definitely wanted to have twin stainless steel hooks instead of my two real hands! Four years ago I met Rob, who's now my husband. He has been a true woman arm amputee "devotee" for as long as he can remember. It was Rob who explained to me that I was a true DBE woman amputee "wannabe" -- that I wasn't "abnormal" in any way, and that I wasn't suffering from any kind of mental illness. Within a week after I had met him, Rob introduced me to his former girlfriend, Debbie, a traumatic DBE amputee who wears beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks. A little more than ten years ago, Debbie had to have both of her two hands amputated just about six inches below her elbows as the result of a very tragic accident she suffered while she was simply playing with some defective fireworks. Debbie's an absolutely amazing woman, and she can do almost anything that she wants to do using her beautiful twin hooks -- even including putting on and taking off her twin prostheses all by herself -- because she has worked extremely hard at teaching herself how to be as independent as any DBE amputee can possibly be! Needless to say, she and I quite quickly became very good friends. Debbie has always treated me as if I were her younger sister, and she has always been totally honest and very upfront about telling me absolutely everything that I've wanted to know concerning her tragic accident, the operations that were performed on her two arm stumps, her recovery, her rehabilitation, and her return to living a very normal life using her twin stainless steel hooks in place of her two amputated hands. In addition to everything that I learned from Debbie, I also began reading anything and everything I could find that was related to amputees and prostheses. With each passing day, I quickly became even more and more convinced that I would never be truly happy with myself and I would never be truly content with my life unless I could become like Debbie -- a real DBE amputee who wears twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks! Debbie is, and Debbie will always be, not only my very close friend, but also my role model, and I'll always try to live my life just like she's living her life! It was my very close friendship with Debbie that made me finally realize just how desperately I'd wanted to become a real DBE amputee for such a very long time -- more than ten years! After Rob became my boyfriend, we would spend countless hours talking about how I could become a real DBE amputee like Debbie. We finally decided that I would have to suffer an "accident" that would result in the complete amputation of both of my hands just about two inches above both of my wrists. Rob and I also decided that I would definitely not obtain my twin hand amputations until: (1) sometime right before my 22nd birthday, (2) sometime after I'd successfully completed all of my college graduation requirements, (3) sometime after I'd signed a contract to be a full-time teacher of exceptional ("disabled") children, and (4) sometime before we would get married. Our decisions not only gave me about fifteen months to reaffirm my determination to purposely and permanently become a real DBE amputee, but they also gave me a lot of time to start preparing to live the entire rest of my life as a woman who would use twin stainless steel hooks in place of her two amputated hands. First, I checked into my parents' medical insurance, and I found out that I was still completely covered under their policy up until the day I officially graduated from college, and I also found out that it would completely cover all of the medical expenses that resulted from my "accident" -- including the cost of "conventional" body-powered prostheses -- for the rest of my entire life. Next, I began to follow a daily exercise program consisting of a variety of strength and conditioning drills. Then, I began to try to figure out just exactly how I would perform each and every one of my normal daily living activities when I would have to use twin hooks instead of my two real hands. Finally, Rob and I both carefully and completely planned out my "accident" down to the very last detail, including how we would make absolutely sure that no doctor would be able to re-attach either one or both of my hands after I'd amputated them. I only regret that I couldn't do anything at all during this time to prepare both my mother and my father, all of my relatives, and all of my many friends to deal with my "accident" and the effects it would have on each and every one of them. The next fifteen months of my life seemed to last just about forever! Finally I'd successfully passed all of my final exams and completely fulfilled all the rest of my college graduation requirements. I would be graduating "with high honors" in the top ten percent of my class. I'd also signed a provisional teaching contract with a small local school district, so I was all ready to begin my career as a teacher of exceptional ("disabled") students on Wednesday, September 5th, 2001. On Saturday, May 5th, 2001, the day that Rob and I had specifically selected for my "accident" at long last arrived! I met Rob at his apartment, and I was wearing a pair of good jeans along with a new white short-sleeve sweatshirt because I was going to help Rob with some work that he was doing. I cannot and I do not want to go into the details of the work that we did that day because I don't want anyone to even think about doing what I actually did. All I'll say is that during the course of our work, Rob had to temporarily leave me alone while he went to get a few things that we needed. During the several minutes that he was gone, I suffered a very tragic "accident" -- I not only completely severed both of my hands about one inch above both of my wrists, but I also completely mangled what little remained of my two amputated hands. As I screamed for help, I could sense that my entire body was going into shock. When he heard my screams, Rob rushed back to me, and when he saw the totally handless stumps of my two arms, he then realized what I'd already realized -- I'd actually succeeded in finally becoming a real DBE amputee! Almost immediately, I felt as though a tremendously heavy weight had finally been lifted off of my shoulders because I honestly felt relieved that all of my years of waiting were at last over. I also felt an overwhelming sensation of joy because I realized that I would finally be spending the rest of my life as a real DBE amputee who would wear beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks! And yes, I also felt a tremendous amount of pain, but I was still able to carefully do exactly what I needed to do. I immediately held the ends of my twin arm stumps tightly against the sides of my stomach, so I could apply direct pressure to both of them to slow down the bleeding. I put as much pressure as I possibly could against my twin arm stumps, and although I was successfully able to stop the bleeding, I was unable to do anything at all to stop the steadily increasing pain. Together, Rob and I rushed to my truck, and he quickly drove us to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital in about three minutes, and Rob escorted me directly to the emergency room. He was visibly upset and terribly worried about me, so I quickly kissed him and assured him that everything would turn out just fine. A nurse wanted Rob drive her back to his apartment to retrieve what remained of my two amputated hands, so he did exactly that. By the time they arrived back at the hospital, I was already in the operating room and all prepared for my surgery. My doctor, who was an experienced trauma surgeon, looked at what remained of my two amputated hands and candidly explained to me that it would be absolutely impossible for him to reimplant -- re-attach -- either of my two amputated hands because they were both so severely damaged. Then he explained that he would essentially just round off both of my stumps -- he referred to them as my "residual limbs" -- so it would be possible for me to wear twin artificial hands -- he referred to them as twin "prosthetic hands" -- and lead a "quite normal" life. He mentioned absolutely nothing to me about my ever wearing any kind of twin body-powered prostheses with hooks, probably because he knew that most people would much rather wear some kind of twin "prosthetic hands" instead of twin hooks. Just before the anesthetic I was given put me to sleep, I remembered asking my doctor to make both of my arm stumps -- I didn't refer to them as my "residual limbs" -- the same length, and I distinctly remembered him assuring me that he would try to make both of them as identical as he possibly could. I remembered nothing at all about my actual surgery, but Rob later told me that it took just about four hours, and that it was considered 100% successful. The next thing that I remembered was waking up in the recovery room and Rob and I both looking at one another as we stared at my two heavily bandaged arm stumps! A very short while later, we first phoned my parents and then Rob's parents, and we told them all of the details of my very tragic "accident" and my resulting twin hand amputations. Understandably, they were all quite upset and extremely worried about me. Rob and I did our best to calmly reassure them that I was getting the best possible medical care, that I was doing just fine, that my doctor said that I would make a complete recovery from my twin hand amputations, and that I would soon be wearing twin "prosthetic hands" and once be again leading a "quite normal" life. We didn't tell them that the twin "prosthetic hands" that I would very soon be wearing would be beautiful twin Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks! I don't remember much about the next few days, other than the fact that I slept most of the time, and, that when I was awake, I was in quite a bit of pain. I spent a lot of time just dreaming about how much I would enjoy living the rest of my entire life as a real DBE amputee, and I was absolutely thrilled each and every time that I looked at my two beautiful arm stumps! All of the doctors, all of the nurses, and all of the other hospital personnel constantly praised me for being such a good patient and for always having such a "very positive attitude" about my twin hand amputations! If only all of them had really known just how thrilled I actually was to have finally become a real DBE amputee, then they would have definitely understood exactly why I was being such a good patient as well as exactly why I always had such a "very positive attitude" about my twin hand amputations! I did everything that my doctor and my nurses asked me to do, except that I continually referred to the ends of my two handless arms as my twin stumps, when I was continually told to always refer to them as my "residual limbs" and not my stumps. Of course, I knew that once I was out of the hospital, I would very seldom again hear the words "residual limbs" any more because almost everyone -- including Rob and me -- would always refer to my two handless arms as my twin stumps. That entire month of May, in my opinion, was a very exciting time in my life. My twin stumps healed quite quickly, and they both ended up being about eight inches long, identically matching, and with smoothly rounded ends that had scars which were only about three inches long. Rob and I both think that my twin stumps are just absolutely beautiful! Honestly, I never did feel, and I still don't ever feel, any "phantom" pains in either of my twin stumps, and I never did feel, and I still don't ever feel, that I still have my two real hands! On Monday, May 21st, 2001, I was fitted first with an RBE body-powered training prosthesis with an aluminum hook, and then on the very next day I was also fitted with a matching LBE body-powered training prosthesis with an aluminum hook. I simply amazed everyone -- including Rob and even myself -- with how quickly and proficiently I learned how to use those twin training prostheses. Unfortunately, I was not allowed to wear them for more than a few hours each day, but I really enjoyed every second when I was wearing and learning how to use those twin training prostheses! I knew that it wouldn't be much longer before I would have my very own twin prostheses! The most memorable day so far of my entire life was Friday, June 1st, 2001, the day when I wore my very own twin body-powered prostheses with their Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks for the very first time. My twin prostheses are both attached to a white nylon and stainless steel shoulder harness, and each of my twin prostheses has a beautiful skin-colored plastic forearm with an exposed stainless steel control cable, a beautifully polished Dorrance fully-adjustable stainless steel wrist, and an equally beautifully polished Dorrance #5X stainless steel hook with silver-colored neoprene linings! Rob says, and I definitely agree with him, that I look absolutely gorgeous whenever I'm wearing my twin prostheses! I spent just about all of my waking hours over the next few days constantly practicing and trying to do as many different things as I could with my beautiful new twin hooks. The doctors and the nurses at the hospital all said that I acted just like a little girl who had gotten the "toys of her dreams" because I was obviously very happy whenever I was wearing and practicing how to use my twin hooks. I candidly explained my happiness by telling everyone that I was just trying to get back into some kind of normal daily routine, so I could get out of the hospital as soon as possible! On Monday, June 18th, 2001, I convinced the doctors that I was ready to go home. I was able to use my right hook to "sign" my full name on my hospital discharge papers, and I was extremely proud of the fact that I could legibly write with my right hook. Finally, I was all ready to begin my new life as a real DBE amputee wearing my beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with their Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks! This was the second most memorable day so far of my entire life! For the next week, each and every day continued to be filled with many new and exciting experiences. I became increasingly more and more self-sufficient, and since I had moved in with Rob and was now living in his apartment with him, he was really a tremendous help to me. Rob didn't baby me, and he only helped me if and when I specifically asked for his help. I started every day by practicing moving both of my twin prostheses, as well as practicing maneuvering my beautiful twin stainless steel wrists along with my beautiful twin stainless steel hooks. Already, I had become quite proficient at using a fork and a spoon, but using a knife to cut anything with proved to be a difficult task for me to master. There are lots of things that I could do when I had my two real hands that I know I should be able to do with my twin hooks -- like holding playing cards, opening and closing a bread bag and a cereal box, and brushing my teeth and my hair, to mention three of those things -- that I can't yet do very well, and although I very often get rather frustrated and a little bit discouraged, I know that I'll eventually learn how to do all of those things fairly well. Of course, there are also several things that I've always enjoyed doing when I had my two real hands that I know I'll never again successfully be able to do with my twin hooks -- like reading Braille, putting in and taking out my contact lenses, and playing my clarinet and my flute, to mention three of those things -- but I fully realize that never again being able to do those things is just a very small portion of the "price" that I've willingly had to "pay" for becoming a real DBE amputee and for getting my twin hooks. And yes, there are also quite a few more things that I've easily been able to do when I had my two real hands that I know I'll probably never again successfully be able to do with my twin hooks -- like buttoning and unbuttoning buttons, swinging a softball bat, and tying and untying laces, to name just three of those things -- but most of those things are things that I either just don't have very much of a need to do anymore, or things that I just don't have any interest at all in even trying to do. However, I do know that being a real DBE amputee and wearing my beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with their Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks will always more than make up for all of the difficulties that I have experienced, and that I have yet to experience, while learning how to use my twin hooks. Of course, the more I wear and use my twin hooks, the more proficient I'm becoming at using them. Time seemed to be passing rather quickly now, and each and every day Rob and I always went out somewhere, giving me the opportunity to show off my beautiful twin hooks and everything that I could do with them. I've never been the least bit ashamed of my twin hooks, so I never attempt to hide them. In fact, I definitely prefer to wear short-sleeve shirts and blouses, so I can not only show off my twin stainless steel hooks and my twin stainless steel wrists, but so I can also show off my twin stainless steel control cables as well as my twin plastic forearms. I guess you could say that I'm definitely quite an exhibitionist when it comes to showing off both my beautiful twin hooks as well as my beautiful glasses with their thick plastic lenses! It's obviously very apparent to both Rob and to me that every time I do just about anything with my beautiful twin hooks, even if I simply move them without actually using them to do anything, I almost always attracted people's undivided attention along with their constant stares. I would like to think that I usually attract people's attention and stares because I wear beautiful twin hooks and/or because I wear beautiful glasses with thick plastic lenses. However, I'm sure that I really attract most people's attention and stares because I have no hands and/or because I'm extremely myopic. Even so, regardless of why people constantly stare at me, I really do enjoy all of the attention I get from just about everyone! Meeting people now is an exciting experience for me because most people are totally surprised when they realize that I have twin hooks instead of two real hands. They're usually quite shocked when I very casually reach out with my right hook to shake their right hand, or when I use my twin prostheses to give them a welcoming hug. And I never refer to my twin hooks as my "hands" because I don't have my two real hands any more. I'll have to wear these twin hooks of mine for the entire rest of my life, and I'm very proud of them, just like I'll have to wear these glasses of mine with their thick lenses for the rest of my entire life, and I'm also very proud of them! And I'm always very thrilled when people take special notice of my beautiful twin hooks, most especially if they make any comments to me about them or if they ask me any questions about them. When I know that other people are watching me, nothing thrills me more than to use my twin hooks to do something that most people think I can't do -- like writing, typing, turning the pages of a book or a magazine, picking up a very small object, etc. The main reason that I've become quite proficient at doing quite a few things with my twin hooks is because I realize that I'm now a member of a very small and a very elite group of women -- women who are real DBE amputees and who also wear twin body-powered prostheses with twin hooks. I want everyone to know just how proud I am to permanently be a member of that very special group of DBE amputee women! I'd been putting off letting my parents and Rob's parents see me until I was quite confident that I would be able to actually show them not only that I'd completely recovered from my twin amputations, but also that I'd become very proficient at using my twin "prosthetic hands" in place of my two amputated hands. I'd not yet told them, and they'd not yet seen, that my twin "prosthetic hands" were really twin stainless steel hooks! Rob and I had been phoning all four of them at least three times a week ever since my "accident" and had been keeping them informed of my progress. Even so, they had been very anxiously awaiting the chance to see me with my twin "prosthetic hands" -- Rob and I really didn't know exactly what to expect when they finally would see me with my beautiful twin hooks. I'd also purposely not mentioned to any of them that I would never again be able to wear my contact lenses, but that I would now always have to wear glasses with thick plastic lenses. They already knew that I didn't always wear my contact lenses, but they assumed that I wore them most of the time. All four parents finally came to see both Rob and me on Saturday, June 23rd, 2001. They all did a lot of crying for the first few hours because they were just absolutely devastated that I was going to be so severely and so permanently "handicapped" for the rest of my entire life. Even Rob cried, but I absolutely refused to cry. I couldn't cry because I was so happy to be a real DBE amputee and so thrilled to have beautiful twin stainless steel hooks in place of my two amputated hands! Their initial grief was soon minimized when I showed them just how wonderfully my twin arm stumps had healed and just how proficiently I could now use my beautiful twin body- powered prostheses with their shiny plastic forearms, polished stainless steel wrists, and polished Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks! Just like almost everyone else, their attention was immediately focused on me whenever I did anything with my twin hooks. Of course, they asked me how long it would be before I would replace my twin hooks with a more natural-looking pair of "prosthetic hands" - they referred to them as artificial hands. I candidly told all four parents that even if I did eventually want to wear a pair of artificial hands, I would most definitely only want to wear them on those very few occasions when I wouldn't really have to use them very much at all because they wouldn't be nearly as useful as my beautiful twin hooks. I let all of them know just how extremely satisfied I was with my twin hooks, and I think that I convinced all of them that I honestly didn't see much sense in going to the trouble of getting a pair of artificial hands that I would very seldom want to wear! Even though I'm quite positive that all of them would prefer that I wear just about any kind of artificial hands instead of my twin hooks, I'm sure that all of them realized that I was definitely going to wear nothing except twin stainless steel hooks. Similarly, it was easy for me to convince them that I now was also extremely satisfied with my glasses with their thick plastic lenses, and that I didn't see much sense in going to the trouble of wearing contact lenses that I would be unable to insert and remove by myself! Of course, I'm also quite positive that all of them would prefer that I wear just about any kind of contact lenses instead of my glasses with their thick plastic lenses, and I'm also sure that all of them realized that I was definitely going to wear nothing except glasses with thick plastic lenses. After my "show and tell" session with our four parents concluded, Rob and I took them all out to eat. We went to the restaurant where I had worked as a waitress for the past three summers, so I got the chance to show off my twin hooks to everybody in the restaurant in addition to all four parents! Neither my boss nor my coworkers at the restaurant knew anything at all about my "accident" or the fact that I now had twin hooks instead of two real hands, so they were all shocked when they saw me. They had all thought that I had gotten another waitressing job somewhere else. I really enjoyed the thrill that I got when those people saw my twin hooks for the first time, and that's one of the real pleasures of being a DBE amputee that I'll get to experience almost every day for the entire rest of my life! Our dining experience went very well. I ordered a tossed salad and stuffed shells, two things that I had no trouble at all eating using my twin hooks and a fork. Just about everyone who was in the restaurant seemed to be watching me eating at one time or another, so I must have been putting on quite a show! I finished my meal first, and while everybody else was finishing, I spent several more minutes visiting with both my boss and my coworkers. I can't describe how good it felt to shake their hands with my right hook and hug them with both of my twin prostheses, even though I'd never really enjoyed shaking hands with people or hugging people when I had my two real hands. I then specifically told my boss that I would only come back to work as a waitress at his restaurant if I could be just as good a waitress with my twin hooks as I had been when I had my two real hands. He told me that my waitressing job would always be waiting for me whenever I felt that I was ready to come back to work. Overall, this initial meeting at the restaurant with our four parents, my boss, and my coworkers turned out to be just exactly like my initial meetings with almost everybody. When most people see me with my twin hooks, they react with a unique combination of shock, sorrow, and sympathy, but then they quickly realize that I've totally accepted the fact that I'm a 22 year old woman who'll be living the entire rest of her life with twin hooks instead of two real hands. Hopefully, they'll also realize that I'm going to definitely live every day of my life by using my beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with their Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks to successfully accomplish each and every one of the things that I really want to and/or really need to accomplish! As the summer progressed, I became more and more proficient at using my twin hooks, and our four parents came to visit us three more times. On Friday, July 6th, 2001, we all celebrated my 22nd birthday -- just two months late -- and I was able to cut and serve my birthday cake all by myself using my twin hooks along with a cake knife and a cake server! That's just one example of the many skills that I'll have to become very proficient at doing with my twin hooks before I can begin to start waitressing again! Since I'd just re-passed my road test to renew my driver's license, I showed off my new driving skills that evening by chauffeuring everybody to the local dairy bar for ice cream. In addition to the "CORRECTIVE LENSES REQUIRED" restriction which my license has always had marked on it, it now also has a "DOUBLE-ARM PROSTHESES REQUIRED" restriction marked on it. Even though I would probably be able to very adequately drive almost any car/truck/van without my twin hooks by using just my twin stumps all by themselves, I really enjoy turning the steering wheel and operating all of the controls of motor vehicles using my twin stainless steel hooks. While Rob and our four parents all ordered ice cream cones, I ordered just a dish of ice cream, and I explained to the somewhat embarrassed young waitress that I wasn't able to hold an ice cream cone with either of my twin hooks without crushing it and making quite a mess of it. Just eight days later, on Saturday, July 14th, 2001, Rob and I finally got married, so our parents came back to see us once again. We had our wedding ceremony at a small church, with about fifty close friends and relatives as our guests. Most of our guests knew absolutely nothing of my "accident" and were completely unaware that I now had twin hooks instead of two real hands, so I spent almost all of the time before our ceremony explaining how I had become a DBE amputee, and I also did a lot of handshaking and hugging with my twin stainless steel hooks and my twin prostheses. It's a good thing that I really do enjoy showing off my beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with their Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks, and it's also a good thing that I don't really mind telling people about my "accident" and my twin amputations, because I'll have to do both of those things many more times for the entire rest of my life! And now that I'm married, my twin hooks are even more beautiful than they were when I first got them! Rob gave me a spectacular white gold engagement ring and had it specially attached to my right hook, and he also gave me an equally spectacular white gold wedding band and also had it specially attached to my left hook. Rob and I wanted to have both of my rings made from stainless steel, so that they would have exactly matched both my beautiful twin hooks and the frames of my glasses, but we were unable to find any kind of stainless steel engagement or wedding rings at all! All of our many wedding photos show me wearing my beautiful twin stainless steel hooks along with my two beautiful white gold rings, and that's just exactly what Rob and I wanted every one of those photos to show. And concerning all previous photographs of me, I've decided that I will systematically dispose of any and all photographs that show me with my two real hands. I want everybody to remember me not as I used to be -- having two real hands -- but as I am now and as I will be for the rest of my entire life -- having beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with beautiful twin Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks! My summer of 2001 came to an end with my official graduation from college on Sunday, August 19th, almost exactly three months after I was initially scheduled to graduate. Of course, I was in the hospital recovering from my "accident" at the time when I was originally supposed to graduate, so my college decided to just postpone my official graduation until the end of the summer, when all of the regular graduate students along with a few select undergraduate students would have their graduation ceremony. All four of our parents came to visit us again, for the fourth time in three months, and I think that everyone in attendance was watching me as I accepted my diploma with my left hook while I shook the dean's hand with my right hook. Our parents took a whole lot of photographs, and all of them showed me with both of my beautiful twin stainless hooks as well as both of my beautiful white gold engagement and wedding rings in all of their splendor! On Monday, August 27th, 2001, I went to see if I still would have my teaching job that I'd accepted before my "accident" -- I'd signed a tentative teaching contract back at the end of April. When he first saw me, the principal who had hired me was initially rather puzzled as to why I wanted to speak with him, and when he noticed that I had twin stainless steel hooks instead of two real hands, he didn't know what to say or do! Of course, I then proceeded to tell him all about my "accident" and my twin amputations, after which I showed him just some of the things that I was able to do with my twin hooks. He was simply amazed when I showed him that I could write, file papers, type, use a computer, use a copy machine, dial and use a telephone, handle books and magazines, move chairs and desks, and even open and close doors and drawers all by myself using only my twin hooks! I met with all seven members of the Board Of Education later that evening to show them that I was indeed still fully competent to teach, and they were all equally amazed when I demonstrated just some of the things that I could successfully do using my beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with their Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks. To conclude my demonstration of what I could do with my twin hooks, I signed my first official full-time teaching contract in their presence, and then I shook hands with and hugged each of the five men and two women members of the Board! I believe that I left a lasting impression on all of them! Of course, I can imagine just what some of the other teachers, staff members, parents, and even students will say soon after they find out that a young "disabled" woman teacher who not only wears glasses with thick plastic lenses but also has twin stainless steel hooks instead of two real hands has actually been hired to teach "disabled" students. I'll have to wait to see just exactly what happens when I finally begin my teaching career on September 5th, 2001, but I'm very confident that I can do at least as good a job teaching students as any "non-disabled" teacher can do! And it looks as though full-time teaching is not the only job that I'll have. I've also signed a contract to appear in an instructional videotape for the company that makes my twin body-powered prostheses. That videotape will be used to help show other hand amputees not only how to learn to live with their amputations, but also how to use their prostheses to their greatest advantage. I specifically had it written into my contract with that company that all of the profits resulting from anything that I do for them must be donated to the H.A.N.D.S. Foundation. The H.A.N.D.S. -- Hand Amputees Needing Disability Services -- Foundation is a non-profit organization that provides generous financial assistance to any hand amputee who needs any kind of disability services, such as: surgery, prostheses, rehabilitation, job training, etc. And I've also been contacted by a large retail department store about possibly being one of their "disabled" clothing models. If I do decide to do any work for them, I'll have them agree that I will only model those clothes that amputees like myself and other "disabled" people can wear right off-the-rack without any special alterations or modifications. I'll also have them agree that all of the profits resulting from my "modeling" must also be donated to the H.A.N.D.S. Foundation. Of course, who knows whether or not an extremely myopic DBE amputee woman like myself could be successful modeling the latest clothing fashions while wearing beautiful glasses with thick plastic lenses in addition to also wearing beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks! [*****] My Thoughts Looking back on the past four months of my life, I couldn't be any happier with the way things have worked out for me. If I had the opportunity to change anything that I've done, I wouldn't change one single thing! My purposely amputating both of my real hands in order to be able to wear beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks was a choice that I voluntarily and deliberately made, and I'm 100%, absolutely, positively satisfied with my choice. The only regrets that I have are: (1) I wish that there had been some way that I could have obtained my twin amputations as some kind of "elective surgery" instead of having to plan an "accident" in order to achieve them; and (2) I wish that there had been some way that my parents, Rob's parents, all of my relatives, and all of my friends could have been spared all of the pain and all of the suffering that they have experienced as the result of my "accident" and my twin amputations. I fully realize that my twin amputations are permanent, and that I'll never again have my two real hands for the entire rest of my life. However, I'll never consider myself to be "handicapped" or "disabled" in any way. I'm still absolutely thrilled to have my beautiful twin stainless steel hooks instead of my two real hands, yet I realistically know that I'll probably never be able to wear any prostheses that will allow me to do all of the things that I could do when I had my two real hands. Even if I become as skilled as I possibly can using my twin hooks, I'll probably never be able to do such simple things as: opening a can or bottle, removing and replacing a light bulb, peeling off a removable label, unwrapping a piece of candy, getting money out of the coin return of almost any vending machine, making a snowball, hitting a softball, using a scissors, etc., etc., etc. And regardless of all of the things that I'll be able to do with my beautiful twin hooks, I'll just be another "handicapped" or "disabled" person in the eyes of many people. And many people will always feel sorry for me, even though I'll never ever feel sorry for myself. Of course, I'll never be able to tell most people that I voluntarily chose to become real DBE amputee, that I willingly and deliberately planned an "accident" and amputated my own two real hands just so that I could spend the rest of my entire life wearing twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks. Even if I did tell them the truth, most people would never understand why I voluntarily and purposely did what I did, nor will they ever agree that I was justified in doing what I did. As I've said before, those are just a few more examples of the "price" that I've willingly had to "pay" to get my beautiful twin hooks. Still, even if I could, I wouldn't change anything at all about everything that I've done over the past four months because I'm so very happy that I've finally achieved my goal of becoming a real DBE amputee and wearing beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks! [*****] AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE IF YOU THINK THAT YOU'D DEFINITELY LIKE TO BECOME A REAL DBE AMPUTEE JUST LIKE ME, BE 100%, ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY CERTAIN THAT YOU FULLY UNDERSTAND ALL OF THE POSITIVE CONSEQUENCES AS WELL AS ALL OF THE VERY MANY NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR DECISION. BE PREPARED TO ACCEPT AND LIVE WITH ALL OF THOSE CONSEQUENCES FOR THE REST OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, JUST AS I HAVE DONE! REMEMBER THAT MY PURPOSELY CHOOSING TO BECOME A REAL DBE AMPUTEE NOT ONLY VERY PROFOUNDLY AFFECTED MY OWN LIFE, BUT IT ALSO VERY PROFOUNDLY AFFECTED THE LIVES OF ALL OF THE MANY OTHER PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WHO LOVE ME, WHO KNOW ME, AND WHO ASSOCIATE WITH ME! PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND THAT ANYONE DO EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE DONE. IT HASN'T BEEN EASY FOR ME TO ACCOMPLISH ALL OF THE MANY THINGS THAT I'VE SUCCEEDED IN ACCOMPLISHING OVER THE PAST FOUR MONTHS, BUT I LEARNED A LONG TIME AGO THAT VERY FEW THINGS IN LIFE ARE EASY TO ACCOMPLISH, AND I ALSO LEARNED THAT THE GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN LIFE ARE ALMOST ALWAYS THE ONES THAT REQUIRE A PERSON TO DO THE MOST WORK. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE BEEN VERY FORTUNATE TO HAVE SUCCESSFULLY AND EASILY OBTAINED MY VOLUNTARY TWIN AMPUTATIONS, AND THAT I HAVE BEEN EXCEPTIONALLY FORTUNATE TO HAVE SUCCESSFULLY AND EASILY ADAPTED TO HAVING TWIN HOOKS IN PLACE OF MY TWO AMPUTATED HANDS. I HAVE ALSO BEEN EXTRAORDINARILY FORTUNATE TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO PURSUE A GREAT CAREER -- TEACHING "DISABLED" CHILDREN -- WHERE IT IS REALLY QUITE AN ASSET, AND NOT ANY "DISABILITY" OR ANY "HANDICAP" AT ALL, TO BE A REAL DBE AMPUTEE AND TO ALSO WEAR TWIN BODY-POWERED PROSTHESES WITH DORRANCE #5X STAINLESS STEEL HOOKS! /\___/\ ____________________________________________________________ /\___/\ \ -.- / \ -.- / `-.^.-' (c) 2001 Anada e'zine by Carole `-.^.-' /"\ ________________________________________________________________ /"\