.............................................. .* * \ /\ .* O . . .. ..O .. 357 02 May 2001 ) ( ') .* O O* o o o o o o o ( / ) * ***O O O O O O O O O \( _)| * O o o.*..o.*..o.*..o. .net "HOW 2 FUK UP ALMOST * * O ANYTHING #2" * *. o |\ _,,,---,,_ * * /,`.-'`' -. ;-;;,_ * * |,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-' By Pavement * * '---''(_/--' `-'\_) *mE0w* o *. .......................................* 'Anada is cat-friendly..o*` WHATZ UP DOODZ THIS IS COUNT BLACK DEATH OF E.L.I.T.E. (.E.VERY .L.AMER .I.DIOT .T.RYS .B.UT FAIL.E.S) AGAIN. CHECK THIS OUT...WHAT U R READING WRITE NOW IS HOW TO FUK UP ALMOST ANUTHING ISSUE 2. H.T.F.A.A. FOR SHORT. I KNOW THAT THIS ISSUE IS LATE BUT THAT IS BECAUSE OF THE NEW JOB I GOT AT MIRCROSOFT. I GUESS ONE OF THE GUYS THAT WORKS THERE READ HTFAA #1 AND HE GOES I COULD TELL FROM THE "SHIT BALLS' ARITCLE YOU WROTE IN HTFAA #1 THAT YOU ARE A SECURITY EXPERT. I AGREE. I HAVE A KICK ASS JOB ALL I DO IS JUST SIT AT HOME AND BE ELITE AND THEY PAY ME FOR IT. ANYWAY THAT BRINGS ME TO THE T0PIC OF THIS ISSUE WHICH IS THE TOTAL GUIDE TO ANARCNHY.. YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO READ ANOTHER T-FILE AFTER THIS ONE. SOME OF U LOOSERS HAVE EMAILED ME AND ASKED HOW 2 DO IT OKAY SO THIS ISSUE OF HTFAA IS FOR THE TRUE HACKERS. READON AND MAYBE YOU'LL GET A KICK ASS JOB AT MICROSOFT LIKE ME BUT I DOUBT IT. BY THE WAY, WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A KILLER ANSI DRAWING AS THE HEADER ON THIS FILE, BUT SINCE I TOTALLY SLAMMED DOS BEAST IN MORTAL KOMBAT 5, HIS THUMBS ARE BROKEN, SO HE CAN'T MAKE ONE. SO INSTEAD WE ARE PIRATING THE ANADA LOGO!! HEHEHEHE "HOW 2 HACK AOL" ---------------- A LOT OF PEOPLE DISS AOL BUT EVERY REAL GHACKER NOWS THAT IT'S COOL IF YOU THINK IT SUCKS YOU CAN SUCK ME. OKAY HERES HOW TO TO HACK THE CHAT ROOMS. 1. DOWNLOAD A CHAT ROOM SCROLLER 2. GO INTO A ROOM AND USE IT. 3. THAT'S IT! THAT MIGHT SEEM EASY BUT ITS NOT, I HAD TO STUDY COMPUTER SCEINCE FOR MANY YEARS AT HARDVARD BEFORE I COULD DO IT. "THE WHITE HOUSE = THE HACKED HOUSE" hehehe ------------------------------------------ YOU MIGHT HAVE SCENE IT IN THE PAPERS ALL OVER WHEN E.L.I.T.E. HACKED THE WHTIE HOUSE. HERE'S A QUICK RUNDOWN...WE GAINED ROOT IN A LITTLE UNDER 2 MINTUES. AND THEN WE GOT THE PASSWORD LIST AND GEORGE W. BUSH'S PASSWORD AND THEN WE SP0OFED HIS EMAIL ADDRESS HERE IS AN EMAIL WE SENT. NOTE FOR NEWBIES IF YOU EVER TRY THIS MAKE SURE YOU MAKE IT SOUND AUTHENTIC LIKE WE DID. 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 From: george.w.bush@whitehouse.gov (President George W. Bush) To: richard.cheney@whitehouse.gov (Vice-President Dick Cheney) Subject: PACK YOUR BAGS hehehe Dear My Repected collegeue You Are fired! if you arent' out of washington by 1800 hours tonight i am getting the secret service on yer ass. i'm serious this isn't a joke. Sincerly, your boss George W. Bush ps if you would let my good friend Count Black Death have sex with your wife and email him your phone # at countBD@fucklamers.org you can keep your job 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 THE VICE PRESIDENT IS STILL IN OFFIEC SO LET'S JUST SAY I MAY HAVE GOTTEN SOME PLAY 2 DAYS LATER HEHEHEHE I CAN'T EXACTLY REMEMERB THOUGH SINCE I SCREW ABOUT 5 CHICKS A DAY. "HOW 2 CARD SHIT" ----------------- LET ME START BY SAYING THAT WHEN I AM NOT CASHING MY PAYCHECKS FORM MICROSOFT OR HACKING AND SHIT I AM A TEXT FILE AFISHYANADO. I HAVE READ HUNDREDS OF TEXT FILEZ THE ONLY ONES I DON'T LIKE ARE CULT OF THE DEAD COW. THEY ARE HOMO'S. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING REALLY COOL CHECK OUT "HOW TO MAKE A PING PONG BALL BOMB" FROM HOGS OF INTROPEY THAT FILE IS THE SHIT. OKAY SO ANYWAYS I WAS READING THROUGH ALL MY FILES AND I REALIZE NOONE HAS EVER DON E A FILE ON CARDING BEFORE. NOW YOU MIGHT WONDER WHAT IS CARDING. SINCE I INVENTED THE TERM I WILL TELL YOU: IT'S WHERE YOU GET SHIT FOR FREE BY STEALINGCREDIT CARDS AND SHIT! I HAVE DONE THIS MANY TIMES AND JUST LAST NIGHT I CARDED A FERARI. HERES WHAT YOU DO: 1. GO TO A 7-111 LATE AT NIGHT. TELL THE GUY YOU ARE GOING TO HACK THE SLURP[EE MACHINE IF HE DOESN'T GIVE YOU ALL THE KARD NUMBERS THAT HE RAN THAT NIGHT. HE WILL DO IT IT WORKS EVERYTIME. THEN GO HOME AND HACK INTO THE SLURPEE MACHINE'S SYSTEM ANYWAY!@ ONE NIGHT ME AND DEMON KNIGHT MADE IT SO WHEN YOU PRESSED THE HANDLE FOR COKE FLAVOR YOU GOT LEMON LIME. HEHEHE. 2. NOW GO BUY AS MUCH SHIT AS YOU WANT!!! WHEN THE FBI SHOWS UP AT YOUR HOUSE JUST TELL THEM YOU KNOW ME AND READ HTFAA AND THEY WILL LEVAE YOU ALONE AND PROBALY GIVE YOU THEIR OWN KREDIT KARD NUMBERS TOO. "MUSIX REVIEWS" --------------- OKAY DOODS WHAT BETTER THING TO SHOPLIFT THEN C'D'S?! BUT THEN YOUR PANTS ARE ONLY SO BIG SO YOU HAVE TO BE KIND OF PICKY SO I PUT THESE MUSIC REVIEWS IN HERE.. REVIEW #1 BRITNEY SPEARS "OOPS....I DID IT AGAIN!" RATINJG: 5 OF 5 STARS THE MUSIC IS FUCKING TERRIBLE BUT SHE IS HOT SO BUY THE ALBUM. THE END. REVIEW #2 LIMP BIZKIT I FORGOT THE NAME OF THE ALBUM RATING: 5 OF 5 STARS HELL YES THESE GUYS ARE TRUELY THE BEST RAP GROUP EVER! THEY PRACITICALLY INVENTED RAP MUSIC. THEY HAVE SOME HOMO I'VE NEVER HEARD OF CALLED METHOD MAN RAPPING ALL OVER THE DAMN CD. HE FUCKING SUCKS! FRED DURST IS A FUCKING GENOIOUS. REVIEW #3 THE BEATLES I THINK THE CD IS CALLED "ABBEY STREET" OR SOME GAY SHIT LIKE THAT RATING: 0 OF 5 STARS WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP AND WHO THE HELL ARE THESE FAGGOTS WITH LONG HAIR ON THE COVER?? THESE GUYS ARE TOTALLY RIPPING OFF OASIS!!! ACTUALLY I ONLY LISTENED TO THIS CAUSE MY MOM WAS PLAYING IT AND SHE WOULDN'T SHUT IT OFF EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HER I WAS GOING TO HACK HER WEBTV ACCOUNT IF SHE DIDN'T. THE WORST WON IS JON LENON, I'M GOING TO FIND HIS ASS AND KILL HIM! GETTING R00T ------------- SO HOW DO YOU GET ROOT LIKE COOL ASS PIMPS LIKE US? IT'S EASY!!!!!!! (WELL, NOT FOR YOU) FIRST YOU BRING UP AOL THEN YOU GO TO SOME COOL ASS HACKING PAGE (LIKE CAROLYN MEINEL'S...SHE IS THE BEST HACKER EVER!!!!) BUT MAKE SURE IT HAS AT LEAST 4 FLAMING SKULL GIFS ON IT OR ELSE THIS WILL NOT WORK. OKAY THEN YOU GO TO KEYWORD "GETROOTONWHITEHOUSE.GOV" AND THAT'S IT!!!!!! DUDE!!! BUT PLEASE BE WARNED THIS TYPE OF THING IS ONLY FOR PROFESSIONAL HAXORS SUCH AS ME, DOS BEAST AND DEMON KNIGHT SO I WOULDN'T FUCK WITH IT IF I WERE YOU. BUT I'M NOT YOU BECUASE I'M NOT A GAY PERSON!!!! SOCIAL ENGINEARING ------------------- OKAY WHAT THIS IS, IS WHERE YOU HACK SHIT WITHOUT A COMPUTER. I USUALLY DO THIS IN PERSON BECAUSE I'M 6'2'', BUFF AND TAN AND CHICKS WILL GIVE ME ANYTHING (HEHE), BUT FOR YOU DORKS OUT THERE READING THIS, I WILL TELL YOU HOW TO DO IT OVER THE FONE. THEM: HELLO, THIS IS DARLENE. THANKS FOR CALLING MIRCROSOFT TECHNICAL SUPPORT, MAY I HELP YOU? ME: YEAH, THIS IS COUNT BLACK DEATH OF THE LEGENDARY HACKING GROUP E.L.I.T.E., GIMME BILL GATES PASSWORD RIGHT NOW YOU DUMB BITCH! THEM: OKAY IT'S AnQ56UKr9. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME@! ME: HEHEHEHE OKAY HERE'S ANOTHER ONE FOR YOU: OPERATOR: AT&T OPERATOR, MAY I HELP YOU? ME: YES, I'D LIKE TO PLACE A THIRD PARTY CALL TO ZIMBABWE, PLEASE BILL IT TO MY HOME AT (866)-408-3355. OPERATOR: IS THIS THAT PUNK, COUNT BLACK DEATH AGAIN?! ME: CERTAINLY NOT! THIS IS MARQUIS BLACK DEATH. OPERATOR: OH, MY MISTAKE. NOW CONNECTING YOU. HEHEHEHE SEE HOW I FOOLED HER!!! HOW 2 HACK GIRLS ----------------- MANY OF YOU HAVE ASKED ME HOW I GET LAID SO MUCH, SO MUCH THAT I BARELY HAVE TIME TO HACK. WELL SHIT IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS BUT I WILL TELL YOU. OKAY FIRST YOU SHOW UP AT HER HOUSE IN YOUR NEW CORVETE WITH A DOZEN ROSES (KARDED OF COURSE). THEN SHE GOES WHY THANK YOU FOR BEING SO SWEET COUNT BLACK DEATH. THEN YOU SLAP HER ONE AND SAY HAVE SEX WITH ME RIGHT NOW OR ELSE. AND THEN THAT GETS HER ALL HOT AND BOTHERED AND SHIT. THEN YOU JUMP IN HER PARENTS BED, FUCK LIKE CRAZED RHINENOCERUSES AND AS SOON AS YOU CUM, YOU STOP. MAKE SURE _SHE_ DOESN'T GET OFF! I REPEAT, MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T GET OFF! THAT KEEPS THEM COMING BACK FOR MORE!!!!! HEHEHEH. OUTRO ------ WELL THAT WAS HTFAA ZINE FOR THIS MONTH I HOPE YOU ENJOYEED IT AND LEARNED SOMETHING MY GOOD FREINDS. PLEASE E-MAIL ME WITH ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE ABOUT HACKING. I WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO ANSWER YOU PROMPTLY AND RESPECTFULLY WITH ANY ASSISTANCE I CAN PROVIDE. JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!! I ACTUALLY HOPE YOU DIE YOU LAMER!!!!!!! I CAN BE REACHED ON THE FOLLOWING BOARDS: VICIOUS CHILDREN OF SATAN BBS --------> (616) 123-4567 (DOOR GAMES AREA HAS 37 DIFFERENT RELEASES OF LORD, INCLUDING THE NEW K-RAD VERSION 4.02B WHICH FEATURES LIVE CYBERSEX WITH VIOLET THE BARMAID!!!!!!!!) DEMONIC SUICIDE BOMBERS WORLD -------> (937) 999-9999 (DON'T POST OR UPLOAD SHIT TO THE MESSAGE BASES OR FILE AREAS YOU HOMO, THOSE ARE SUPOSED TO BE EMPTY!!!) H.U.C.K. F.I.N.N. (H.axors U.nd C.rakerz & script K.iddies F.orever I.N.N. that ass!) -> (900) 555-1212 "BE AFAID BE VERY FUCKING AFRAID" P.S. I HEARD A RUMOR THAT A WORLD FAMOUS HACKING GROUP WAS GOING TO DO SOMETHING VERY BAD TO AMAZON.COM'S MAIN SERVER ON MAY 29TH, 2001 AT 4:26 PM. BUT THAT WAS JUST A RUMOR, IT'S PROBABLY NOT TRUE. HEHEHE .................................................................. /\_/\ * ( o.o ) (c) Anada e'zine anada357 by Pavement o > ^ < o ********************************************************************