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     .* O . .   ..   ..O  ..    312            15 Mar 2001             ) ( ')
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  *  ***O O  O O  O O  O O  O                                          \( _)|
 *      O o  o.*..o.*..o.*..o. .net         "English Majors:                *
 *      O                                  Enemies of Writing"              *
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      *    |,4-  ) )-,_..;\ (  `'-'           by The Corpse                 *
      *   '---''(_/--'  `-'\_)                                      *mE0w*  o
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         'Anada is cat-friendly..o*`       

        I love writing.  I seem to be the only English major at my school who
 writes more than what's required for class.  Some folks write poetry, but it
 never leaves their notebooks or computers, and nobody I know actually
 submits their writing to magazines or publishers.  It doesn't make any sense
 to me: if you're an English major, you probably like to write, but you
 don't.  One might dare say such people who make no use of their talents are
 fuckin' idjits.

        Now that I think about it, it seems English majors don't really read
 much either.  This is another point of divergence, because I read like a
 madman.  What's the point of being a fuckin' English major if you don't read
 or write outside of class?  It sure ain't because you're looking to get a
 badass, high-paying job once you graduate.  Maybe you wanna teach, which is
 all well and good, but I'm biased in favor of actually using what you've
 learned to create something new (or as new as you can get these days) as
 opposed to spitting out the same old shit.

        All right, so I don't like any other English majors besides myself,
 because I'm an absolute badass who actually writes a lot and sends it to
 strangers to read and possibly pay me money to publish.  I read weird books
 by guys like Thomas Pynchon and Robert Anton Wilson and James Joyce and
 Flann O'Brien and William Gibson and William S. Burroughs and Charles
 Bukowski.  I am one arrogant motherfucker.  Probably the most arrogant
 motherfucker in the English department, except for the creative writing
 director, who's written tons of half-assed stuff.  He's got me beat, because
 he's probably three times older than I am and he's got a house and multiple
 cars and shit to show for it.  But I'm definitely cooler than he is, because
 I'm young and write textfiles.

        Damn, I love writing.  I can bitch about people I don't like, mock
 uppity professors, make all sorts of shit up, and sometimes get paid for it.
 Writing is my way of giving back to the world, who probably don't want me to
 give back anything except the phones and paper and coffee I've stolen from
 them.  Writing sets me apart from the rest of the chumps.  Writing sets me
 free.  Writing is a reason to live.  Fuck everyone who doesn't enjoy the act
 or byproducts of writing.  They should all become English majors.  They'd
 fit right in.

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 ( o.o )  (c) Anada e'zine                         anada312  by The Corpse  o
  > ^ <                                                                     o
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