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     '                                                                  '
    '   anada         "School Computer Labs Breed Morons"        19 feb  '
   '     294                    by The Corpse                     2001    '
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        I've worked in the computer lab of a relatively unknown Texas
 university for almost two and a half years, and I've come to one conclusion:
 computers bring out the idiot in 99% of the college population.  No, they
 bring out the FUCKING IDIOT in 99% of the college population.  Idiot alone
 doesn't cut it.

        You'd think that in this day and age, basic working knowledge of
 computers, especially those running Windows, would be commonplace.  Not so.
 I've met more people who couldn't figure out how to open Explorer or change
 the resolution setting of their monitor than I can count.  And that's just
 for starters.

        Let me say that I'm an English major, not a computer science major,
 and I admittedly can't help people who've got a weird programming problem or
 something like that.  I do, however, have the ability to fix most minor
 computer problems.  Problems that limbless blind children could solve.
 Problems I've been able to solve since I first fucked around with a Tandy
 286 in 1991.  Simple fucking problems.

        What bothers me the most about questions like "where do I plug in my
 headphones?" or "how do I send email?" or "how do I get on the net?" is that
 it isn't just the jocks or sorostitutes that ask them.  It's everyone: smart
 people, people in wheelchairs, stupid bitches on cellphones, you name it.
 I'd like to say that most of the questions I answer are due to shitty
 instructions given by shitty CS professors (trust me, the CS professors here
 couldn't teach to save their useless lives), but they're not.  The cause of
 almost all the problems I solve is stupidity, often laced with pure laziness
 and/or ignorance.  People simply do not want to try and figure out their
 problems on their own.  While I'm all for laziness, refusing to comprehend
 simple instructions and follow basic logic is un-fucking-acceptable.

        Why do people act this way around computers?  They're not scary!
 They don't make a lot of sense, at least not to a goon like me, but even
 I've managed to figure them out to a certain degree!  Is there some sort of
 stupidity-inducing radiation emitted from monitors that only me and a few
 other people are invulnerable to?  Damn it, this is college!  People should
 have a modicum of brains in their pinheaded skulls!  What bothers me the
 most is that if I were to get so angry I started stabbing people in the
 kidneys, the idjits I would kill would be mourned, not me.

        Moral of the story: don't work in a computer lab.  Ever.  If you go
 to the computer lab, make some fucking effort toward fixing whatever
 problems you run into.  Don't run sobbing to the labbie because you can't
 figure out why everything you type is coming out in capital letters, or
 because your mouse is screwed up, or whatever.  I can't believe that people
 are going to leave college without being able to save a Microsoft Word
 document.  At this rate, it's only a matter of time until America self-
 destructs under the weight of its own gleeful stupidity.

        Thank God I graduate in May.

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  '                                                                        ' 
 `   anada294   by The Corpse                       (c) 2001 anada e'zine   `