............................................................................ ......::::..|...###.....###...###...###.....#######.....###......;;;;....... .....::::..-*-...###.....###..%##....###.....##..%##.....###....;;;;;;...... ....::::....|...##.##....#####%##...##.##....##...%##...##.##..;;;;;;;;..... .....::::......#######...##.#####..#######...##...%##..#######..;;;;;;...... ......::::....###...###..##...###.###...###..##..%##..###...###..;;####..... .............###.....######...%#####.....###############.....###..###.##.... *****###****###***********************************************###**#**##**** ## ## ### I S S U E # 0 5 1 0 5 - 0 3 - 0 0 ### #### ### # ### ####### #### ### "How To Become a Tragic Bitter ### ####### Reclusive Hypocrite" #### by Mutter * practice tai chi in the shower * refer to a philosophy teacher as "a ghastly muddle" * always inhale * be seen in the worst of company at the best of times * play bad rusty harmonica * hitchhike in spirit * find your religion in daily life ... never church * agitate the humorless * disobey this rule * always follow the previous rule * realize that talking is easier said than done * steal a pair of bowling shoes * mail a package lighter than air * do not pass go, do not see too far ahead but be sure to watch the world spin and keep chasing the moon even though you know you'll never catch it * judge others by artistic principles ... never ones based on morality * show even robin hood a thing or two about fucking-up with good intentions * only get your haircut in a place that plays jazz * only cry over the things you see in the patterns of carpets * have a love/hate relationship with relationships * when in rome, make a spectacle of yourself * do what they expect of you when they least expect it * obsess over your melodramatic head-trips * dig a whole in the ground and then lay next to it **************************************************************************** # (c)2000 aNAda e'zine aNAda051 .*. by Mutter # ............................................................................