* * * * * * * * A A N N A A D D A A A A N N N A A D D A A A A N N N A A D D A A A *** A N N A *** A D D A *** A A A N N A A D D A A A ****************************** A A "Cure The Chaos: Part 1" aNAda #30 A A A A by Big Daddy Bill 03/19/00 A A A ******************************************************************** Introduction: Life How dare she just sit there, he thought, and stare at me. Who does she think I am? Am I here for her to point and laugh at, for her amusement? Brian wondered all this and more in silence, his eyes glued to the homework he was supposed to be doing in front of him on the lunchroom table. This study hall was quiet, thankfully, and he was allowed a few brief moments to himself before *she* interupted him, with her incessant, gougeful staring. He would be able to concentrate, if only she'd stop looking at him. He started to subtley bounce the eraser end of his pencil against the table, starring down at the numbers on the pages before him. They made no sense to him for some reason, just numbers with symbols and words all jumbled into one big runon math problem. All he knew was that she was there, she was invading his life with her eyes, the portals into the soul they say. Portals into hell is more like it, Brian muttered under his tongue. Idealogically speaking, Brian wasn't the most popular, or the most attractive, or the smartest. He kept to himself, staying out of the other kids' ways mostly, avoiding what confrontation he could. He wasn't afraid of anything per se, he just didn't want to bother with it. He didn't have many friends, or for that matter any enemies, either. Just this bitch, he thought, this bitch who can't keep her eyes to herself. I can't concentrate with her looking at me, he silently spoke to himself, all the while never taking his eyes off the big pile of numbers and words on the page before him. Brian stood up noiselessly, all tension broke, and as he made a bee- line for the Pepsi Machine in the back of the lunchroom, he took a casual glance at "her". He walked behind her, as that was where the vending machine was, and looked at the back of her head. His brow furrowed in question, as he stood with the quarters between his fingers, poised at the slot where the machine would graciously eat his money in exchange for a cold beverage. Why isn't she looking at me now, he pondered, his eyes frozen on the back of her head. He studied the long, dark spiral of curls that hung from her head, elegantly brushing the edges of her slender shoulders. Her head was at a bow, as if she was looking at the book in front of her, but he knew what was really on her mind. "Mister Morrse!" a familiar voice boomed, "how long do you intend on standing there, exactly?" The teacher was standing up, glaring over at Brian, who stood stupidly behind the girl. "Sorry, just.. uh.. gettin a soda" Brian stammered back, his face turning red with imminent embarassment. She turned her head to the side, he saw, as the coins clunked to the hopper in the machine. It was his turn to stare, and he caught her looking out of the corner of her eye. Instantly her eyes whipped forward, turning her head straight again. He reached down slowly, glancing at the impeding teacher, and clutched the cold cola to his chest. Brian retreated back to his seat at the table, carefully cracking open the can that held his carbonated savior. He took a long, cool drink, feeling his throat burn with the cola goodness that he gulped down. And then she started staring again. {*****} Lesson 1: You're Crazy The locker next to him slammed shut, startling him out of his dazed reverie. Brian looked over at the hulking jock next to him, who did not return the gaze. Instead, the football captain turned his attention to the things inside Brians locker: the pictures of his girlfriend, the locked briefcase collecting dust at the bottom, and of course his academic necessities. LeRoy "Ballz" Baalzetto was a big stupid asshole, and he often loved to prove it. "Who's that?" LeRoy referred to the picture of Kelly, Brian's girlfriend, pasted to the inside of the locker door. "I think I fucked her once... wrestled her around like I do my puppies at home." A high pitched giggle came out of LeRoy's mouth following his lewd words, along with a slap on Brian's back. LeRoy turned and walked away, leaving Brian stunned and angry at his locker bay. Brian swept his eyes down to the briefcase collecting dust at the bottom of his locker, almost willfully. Motherfucking dickhead, Brian silently cursed, his eyes glued to the black leather case, his mouth set in a state of rage. "Just chill man, he doesn't know you..." came the wise words of one of Brian's only friends, Bradley. The slim kid cracked a smile at Brian, combing his fingers through his long hair. "Fuck 'em." he added. "Yeah, I know, but why the fuck does he gotta say something about Kelly every goddamn day?" Brian questioned, his agitated tone apparent as he closed his locker, his bookbag in hand, the cola he bought earlier in the other. It was fifth hour, about the middle of the day. Brian was heading to math. "I dunno, just.. fuck 'em." That seemed to be all the advice that Bradley could offer, as Brian left him standing there in the hallway by his locker, skillfully disappearing into the bustling crowd. In math class, Brian tried to sit still and pay attention, but there was this uncomfortable vibe he felt in the room, as if someone were right behind him, staring down at him in absolute hatred. Brian turned his head and looked around, viewing the concentrating faces in turn, as they were all testing. His eyes caught on to his neighbor, another member of the "Brainless Brigade" as they were called around school. The sports jocks, they're all alike, Brian thought. So fucking ignorant and yet so accepted, Brian processed, a sneer on his face. He didn't even know this ones name, and surely he didn't care. Brian turned his eyes back down to his paper, taking a drink of the soda he had set on his desk. When Brian set it back down, he felt more at ease, the cold drink seemingly calming his nerves. That's when his neighbor's foot shot out from under him, deftly kicking the leg of Brian's desk. It shook the desk violently, thusly tipping the can that Brian set back down. The contents spilling out, Brian gasped, but much too late. The cola was all over his test paper, and now began to pour onto his lap. Brian lept from his desk with such force that he knocked his desk over, as his neighbor began to laugh hysterically. Everyone in the classroom turned, their eyes on Brian and his wet crotch, and Brian was met with a wave of congratulatory applause and cheering. Others were chuckling, some snickering, some just staring, but Brian saw them all as his mockers. Brian remained cemented to the ground, seemingly not hearing the teacher shouting to get the attention of the class, or her orders for Brian to get a towel. All Brian heard was his heartbeat in his ears, his eyes locked on the large puddle on the floor that was his soda, the can tilted and still burping out its brown fizzy insides. Brian shook his head slowly and backed from the classroom. {**************************************************************************} { (c)2000 aNAda e'zine * * aNAda030 * by Big Daddy Bill } **************************************************************************